Races

THROBBITS

Throbbits are funny little buggers with pointy ears, big feet and hairy palms (which they must shave regularly). They live in gopher-like holes beneath the 19th hole of the Westshire Golf Course and their main village is called Throbbiton. They spend their days tending to their Throbbit mounds, reading Harvey Putter books and tormenting the preppy golfers by stealing their balls to make jewelry out of.

The wealthiest and most neurotic of the Throbbits is Bobo Buggins, who resides in the super neat Throbbit mound known as Bug End.

DWEEBS

Dweebs live primarily underground in their parents’ basements surfing the internet, playing computer games and comparing hard drives. A large commune of Dweebs reside in an enormous cavern full of T1 lines called Murray’s Basement.

Torrent and six other Dweebs go on a long and dangerous journey to retrieve their home and technological treasures under the Silicon Mountain.

MEN

The humans of Muddle-earth pretty much do what any other pseudo-medieval people might do. Drink ale, slay dragons, bed maidens, yadda yadda yadda…

The redneck folk of Lakeville live in fear of a mighty Drag Queen who dazzles them with sequins.

ELFISES

Elfises are full of soul and rock ‘n roll. Modeling their lives after The King, their city of Rippendell has a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on. Their interests include hip swayin’, guitar strummin’ and lip curlin’.

Another Elfis clan resides in the Tupperwoods where the newage Gladwrapriel dwells with her outcast Weebler Elfises who help her bake the vegan cookies. She also is the keeper of the All Peeing Pool.

The Elfises of Jerwood Forest are brothers of the fraternity Hunka Hunka  and are led by their chapter president Legoblocks.

GOOBLINS

The Muppety creatures the Gooblins work in the mighty offices of GoobleTech where they run the mightiest search engine in all of Muddle-earth. Led by the charming and large-packaged Gooblin King who sings like David Bowie, they make sure that anyone who wanders into their lair becomes permanently unsearchable.

TROLLS

Three notable Trolls run the Troll booth just outside of Throbbiton: Harry, Surly and Schmoe. They enjoy collecting tolls, eating various travellers, and beating each other in slapstick fashion.

NAGS

The vicious Nags are the former wives of men killed in battle during the First Age. They search the forest for males they can harangue, following the smell of beer and testosterone. Be sure not to track mud through their freshly cleaned glade: they are not to be trifled with.