Professor
Alfus Mumblemore (Headmaster) has been in charge of
Snogwarts for as long as he can remember, which means he could
have just started yesterday. He spends most of his days
leafing through old copies of "Wet n' Wild Witchies"
and helping keep Harvey Putter alive.
Professor
Sumnerva Madonnagal (Deputy Headmistress) is one sexy ol'
gal who doesn't mind showing off what she's got. She teaches
Tranformeration class and can mutate from a whiny 80's girl
with cross necklaces into a bleach blond, cone busted 90's
megastar with ease.
Professor
Superfluous Snake (Lotionsmaster) may smell like a field
of fresh lilacs, but he has a personality that would make
Genghis Khan look like a kitten. When he isn't busy making
Harvey's life completely miserable he spends his free time
making Harvey's life completely miserable.
Hagard
(Groundskeeper) is half-giant and half-wit. He teaches the
Care of Mythological Creatures class where students learn
about the mating habits of Ass-ended Brewts and learn from
their Monster Muffin Book of Monster Muffins. He also has a
half-brother named Crawp, who is a Jollus Green Giant.
Professor
Repus Fruitofthelupin is the first of several
teachers this year to instruct Defense Against The Daft Arts.
He carries a secret, however: he suffers from Underpanthropy,
meaning he turns into a hairy, brief-sporting Underwerewolf
every full moon and every other rinse cycle.
Madam
Coach is in charge of all the Squidditch games and makes
sure everyone has the proper brooms and jockstraps. She lives
by the motto "There's No Crying In Squidditch" even
though she frequently weeps after most matches after seeing
how badly these brats play.
Professor
Symple Trailerawny teaches Dimwitnation classes
where she attempts to predict the future (and the lotto) by
using Muno cards and looking into the Bowling Ball. She can
also forecast grave events by looking into the bottom of an
ashtray and spotting The Grime. At least it keeps her
busy.
Headmistress
Sister Delirious Nunbridge takes over halfway through the
school year when Prof. Mumblemore gets sacked. She plays the
guitar and forces the children to sing "Merlin Loves
Me" and insists on teaching them proper magic such as
card tricks and pulling a rabbit out of a hat.
Professor
"Bad Tie" Moony fills in for the Daft Arts job
when Prof. Fruitofthelupin gets a major wedgie. Moony gargles
soda, talks to invisible people, and wears the ugliest
neckties in the galaxy. In short, he's their most sane teacher
yet!
Mr.
Filth is the custodian and years of cleaning up after
these ungrateful little monsters have made him a bit
sensitive. When he's not prowling the halls and abusing
students, he enjoys knitting, crossword puzzles, badminton and
Armageddon.
All
images and content (c) 2007-2009 Richardson Productions LLC. Harvey Putter
is a PARODY and we have no affiliation with Warner Bros. or J.K. Rowling
Professor
Alfus Mumblemore (Headmaster) has been in charge of
Snogwarts for as long as he can remember, which means he could
have just started yesterday. He spends most of his days
leafing through old copies of "Wet n' Wild Witchies"
and helping keep Harvey Putter alive.
Professor
Sumnerva Madonnagal (Deputy Headmistress) is one sexy ol'
gal who doesn't mind showing off what she's got. She teaches
Tranformeration class and can mutate from a whiny 80's girl
with cross necklaces into a bleach blond, cone busted 90's
megastar with ease.
Professor
Superfluous Snake (Lotionsmaster) may smell like a field
of fresh lilacs, but he has a personality that would make
Genghis Khan look like a kitten. When he isn't busy making
Harvey's life completely miserable he spends his free time
making Harvey's life completely miserable.
Hagard
(Groundskeeper) is half-giant and half-wit. He teaches the
Care of Mythological Creatures class where students learn
about the mating habits of Ass-ended Brewts and learn from
their Monster Muffin Book of Monster Muffins. He also has a
half-brother named Crawp, who is a Jollus Green Giant.
Professor
Repus Fruitofthelupin is the first of several
teachers this year to instruct Defense Against The Daft Arts.
He carries a secret, however: he suffers from Underpanthropy,
meaning he turns into a hairy, brief-sporting Underwerewolf
every full moon and every other rinse cycle.
Madam
Coach is in charge of all the Squidditch games and makes
sure everyone has the proper brooms and jockstraps. She lives
by the motto "There's No Crying In Squidditch" even
though she frequently weeps after most matches after seeing
how badly these brats play.
Professor
Symple Trailerawny teaches Dimwitnation classes
where she attempts to predict the future (and the lotto) by
using Muno cards and looking into the Bowling Ball. She can
also forecast grave events by looking into the bottom of an
ashtray and spotting The Grime. At least it keeps her
busy. 
Headmistress
Sister Delirious Nunbridge takes over halfway through the
school year when Prof. Mumblemore gets sacked. She plays the
guitar and forces the children to sing "Merlin Loves
Me" and insists on teaching them proper magic such as
card tricks and pulling a rabbit out of a hat.
Professor
"Bad Tie" Moony fills in for the Daft Arts job
when Prof. Fruitofthelupin gets a major wedgie. Moony gargles
soda, talks to invisible people, and wears the ugliest
neckties in the galaxy. In short, he's their most sane teacher
yet!
Mr.
Filth is the custodian and years of cleaning up after
these ungrateful little monsters have made him a bit
sensitive. When he's not prowling the halls and abusing
students, he enjoys knitting, crossword puzzles, badminton and
Armageddon.